I am not a boy, so maybe boys never forget their first loves either. However, speaking from my perspective I know that as a girl - the first major crush/love will always have an impact on our lives and other relationships. Whether we like that impact or not - it is there.
For me, it was Jake Ryan from the 16th episode of season 3 of Hannah Montana. Jk. But for real. A girl's first love is something that will reside in her memories forever. She will always remember the little things and some of the bigger things. Subtle things from the outside of the story can seem insignificant, but when it concerns the first love, it's biiig. Real big.
In a physical sense, love can do all sorts of things. It can cause you to travel distances that you never imagined you would. It makes you feel things that you cannot explain. It causes your face to radiate light. Love makes people wild.
Throughout my reading of the Bible, I have noticed this wild, infatuating love song, that was written thousands of years before me. A song of longing. A song of rescue. A song of the Groom preparing the Bride.
And I really want to share these things that the Lord has revealed to me to you - in hope that you may see how the Lord loves you with this wild, infatuating kind of love.
People have reached out to me from my last post and have said that the topic of returning to their first love has revealed something to them. It has awakened their hearts in a way to see that they are indeed being romanced by their First Love.
That idea of being "romanticized" or "pursued" is something that no one really understands or talks about often. What does it mean? Why bother with pursuing someone when it is only the 'first initial' ice breaker in a relationship? I feel like the concept of asking someone out is so simple today. Even though it can be risky to message someone or work up the courage to ask. However, what happens after? Does the pursuing end once the other person answers, 'yes'?
I think society has changed, actually, I know society has changed in the past 100 years. Society has changed so much in the past year alone. Couples get together because of convenience and oftentimes pressure from friends and family or simply attraction. People think they are perfect for each other but there is no sacrificing or commitment. There are no long-term goals for relationships. We do not know how to love with everything in us, for the benefit of the other person.
The problem is: we don't know how to pursue love and I don't think we wait for it.
"Wait for the Lord" -Psalm 27:14
"Wait for the Lord" -Psalm 33:20
"Wait patiently for Him" -Psalm 37:7
"Wait for the Lord" -Psalm 37:34
"My soul, wait" -Psalm 62:5
"Wait for the Lord."-Psalm 130:5
"Therefore the Lord longs to be gracious to you,
And therefore He waits on high to have compassion on you.
For the Lord is a God of justice;
How blessed are all those who long for Him."-Isaiah 30:18
"Wait for Him" -Lamentations 3:25
"Wait for the God of my salvation" -Micah 7:7
A girl, by the name of Rahab, probably whispered these words to her heart, 'wait for the Lord' as she was living in the walls of Jericho.
As was the custom at that time, fathers would give their daughters to men in trade for position, or wealth. Sometimes it was for their daughter's benefit. Only sometimes.
In this case, we know Rahab was a prostitute. If she had a father in her life, he was ashamed of her practice and more than likely would have shunned her even though he was the one to supposedly protect her and defend her and give her into the hands of a man that would have taken care of her.
Young Rahab, knew there was life outside of the walls of her own captivity. She knew there was hope out there. She believed in the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. Every day, she would have heard when her people mocked the savage Israelites coming their way. When they would feel anxiety and dread, she would feel hope and possibly rescue.
When the people of Jericho watched as the Israelites praised the Lord for letting them cross over a dry Jordan river, Rahab saw how almighty the works of her Lord were.
I am sure you know the story of Rahab, or perhaps this is the first time you have heard about her story. Nonetheless, a woman known by her sin became known by the Lord's grace.
'For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace.' Romans 6:14
The walls of Jericho did not stop the wild love that God had for Rahab. After knowing this story for years, it's always been a sweet story of redemption. But I always wanted to focus on the spy, Salmon, who ends up marrying Rahab and protecting her and giving her a child, which was named, Boaz. (Yes, that's Boaz from the book of Ruth!!)
I overlooked the One that was rescuing her in the first place. The real hero. Her First Love.
The morning after I read Rahab's story in Joshua, I got in my car for work and pushed my Lauren Daigle CD (yes, I still have a CD player in my car lol), in and the first song that played was, "Rescue."
Not sure if you have heard this song yet, but buckle up. Try reading this from Rahab's perspective and then read it from your own perspective as God speaking to you.
You are not hidden There's never been a moment You were forgotten You are not hopeless Though you have been broken Your innocence stolen
I will send out an army to find you In the middle of the darkest night It's true, I will rescue you
There is no distance
That cannot be covered
Over and over
You're not defenseless
I'll be your shelter
I'll be your armor
I will never stop marching to reach you
In the middle of the hardest fight
It's true, I will rescue you
Have I ever been in love, you may ask?
The inevitable question every year comes when I see my cousins at our Christmas party, "so is there a boyyy?" You can either do one of two options, stare blankly in the abyss and think about that question, like really think about it, and run off crying into the bathroom. Or, you can shake your head and respond with my favorite response: "not this year." So my answer to the question, have I ever been in love is a definite no. I might have thought I was "in-love" some point in my life.
With each new year, the pressure rises. And then you think, well, is love even out there? Doubts resurface once more and you think, what am I waiting for? Is love even worth it at this point?
Do not give in to the lie. What did the Enemy use to make Eve doubt herself? A twisted lie. Don't believe Him. You are not alone in this season. Honestly, you probably don't find it comforting when you realize that there are other girls out here in the same boat you are, looking for their perfect catch. (haha did you see what I did there?)
If others are having a hard time searching for the right one, how am I going to as well? Or you might be thinking that the good ones are already snatched up!?
Why is today's culture so hard to find the right spouse? Is it social media barriers? Is it cultural differences? Are there not enough interactions with other people? Schools, universities? I mean, honestly, where do you look other than church and your workplace?
I was chatting with a friend of mine the other day and we talked about how it was so wonderful to grow up in church surrounded by godly influences, but because we grew up in church - the only guys we technically knew were the guys in our youth groups. And to be fair here, I don't think any relationship that began in the basement of my church was ever going to make a heart start sparking. Not saying that growing up in church is a bad way of finding a boyfriend, but it can be sometimes. Where are all the courageous men? Why are there so few good guys? Where is my Salmon or Boaz in the story?
Sometimes we can easily misplace our hero in our story to fall on a cute boy rather than the One that has been calling your name from the start.
“We think you’ll find that every woman in her heart of hearts longs for three things: to be romanced, to play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and to unveil beauty. That’s what makes a woman come alive.” -John Eldredge, Captivating
What makes your heart skip a beat? Is it the morning dew on fresh flowers? Is it the golden hour when the sun is shining before sleep? Is it your favorite romantic movie or the book you've been reading? Does your heart beat wild when you feel loved and seen? Adored and special?
Let me ask you this personal question, when do you feel the most loved by God?
Really ask yourself this question. Because I think once you do, you will realize something remarkable.
John Piper quoted this, “it is about the greatness of God, not the significance of man. God made man small and the universe big to say something about himself.”
In the stillness, God is speaking. In the waiting, He is there. In the chaos, He loves you. He sees you.
I pray that you can notice when God romantically pursues you. If you do not see how God is declaring His love to you daily, ask Him. Go ahead. You can ask Him to show you how much He loves you.
As a woman, our desire is to be for our husband. (Gen. 3:16) Naturally, we want a man in our life to adore and love. But deep down, we want the same thing to happen to us, we want someone to see and adore us too. Do you not think this is a characteristic of your Creator Himself? He put that in you. Why do we crave love? Why do we want to be known? Because the Lord wants to be wanted. The Lord wants to be seen. The Lord wants your heart.
Will you give it?
Sister, God knows. He placed those desires in you because He wants to be the One to claim our First Love in the story.
Instead of focusing on seeking love in a cute, romantic guy, reflect on the greatest act of love that has ever been shown before. Until you realize this, you will still be searching for love in the wrong people and places.
As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. (John 15:9)
Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13)
So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. (1 John 4:16)
But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)
The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
I pray that today and for the rest of your life you will ask the Lord to keep pursuing your heart and show you His wild love for you.