Updated: Apr 28
A friend of mine asked me a question that has inspired this post I am writing to you.
I am saving my first kiss for my future husband.
Why you may ask?
This dream of mine has been in motion since I was 15-years old. I read a book series when I was in the phase of learning all about love, dating, marriage, etc. The main girl in the book talked about saving up her pennies for her husband.
Now you must be thinking, "oh, she's really lost her marbles!"
Just hear me out okay?
The analogy was this, every kiss is a penny. And every girl has a piggy bank full of pennies, you see, to give one day to her future husband. What if you give a penny to your childhood crush, maybe give another one to your first boyfriend. Woops, turns out you ended up giving several pennies to your fourth boyfriend. Long story short, when you finally meet the man of your dreams. The man that you want to spend the rest of your life with, what do you have to offer? A half-empty piggybank.
This picture has stuck with me for years! It seems a little silly, but there is so much truth behind it!
I have a question for you.
Do you want to begin a relationship with half of you?
Every kiss, every caress to a girl is a piece of her heart. So slowly, she starts giving herself away not realizing that parts of her are disappearing. Until one day she looks up and realizes that parts of her are scattered everywhere, with all the guys before.
This scenario terrifies me. When I meet the person I am going to be with for the rest of my life, I don't want to deliver a sad broken picture (or an empty piggy bank). I want to give my all. Every last piece of me.
There's a song that I have loved for years. Here is my favorite part of the lyrics:
Regardless if you've kissed someone in the past, or actually given yourself away to someone, you can love. You can love completely.
Personally, I would like to think that my future spouse is saving himself for me. But this world is tempting. There are a lot of distractions that can make people compromise when they don't even mean to. Do I believe that sex before marriage is okay? Of course not.
It makes my heart sad to see people who are in middle school giving their firsts away to someone that is going to throw their innocence away like trash. Even moving in together before marriage is something that not only stains your character, but it also ruins your self worth as well.
You are worth more than that. You deserve more than that.
I guess the point I am trying to make in all of this is delayed gratification.
Delayed gratification in a relationship not only enhances the well-being of marriage, but it prolongs it! Who doesn't want that? I don't want to be married to someone who I barely know because we accidentally got pregnant and started a family before really knowing what you want in a lasting-spouse.
Here are a few inserts from some articles I found:
We are wired to look for a quick and easy solution rather than thinking about long-term results. This is called an immediate gratification bias. Putting off a reward or positive results to get a better long-term outcome is a learned behavior that humans have to make a conscious effort to achieve.
The most beautiful thing to me in a relationship is selfless love for one another.
As a Christian, this is exactly why I believe there is a God. We don't love Him because of our selfish requests and eternal life. We love because He first loved us. And He actually gave His own blood (upcoming post on the DNA of God is coming out soon!) so that we could be in a relationship with Him.
There is no greater love than laying your life down for someone. That's compassionate love. I don't care if you are the best romance novelist out there. Nothing competes with that kind of love. I want to live in that love, don't you?
So I want to wait and save my first kiss and give all my pennies to my future husband.